The Authentic Network Server

Here's a modern idiom re-write I did on John 15:1-8. Jesus used the example of a vineyard to explain the relationship between us and God. This is not a translation, it's a rewriting of the text in the modern idiom of computer language.  Most of us are 'vinyard keepers' of an entirely different kind. Our 'vines' are electronic and our 'fruit' are the services produced by electronic networks. If Jesus had come to us today, what example might he have used to explain our relationship to Him that modern people might understand?

I am the authentic network server, and my father is the System Engineer. He deletes every subroutine that is dysfunctional, and those that at least execute basic commands, he will improve upon to make them even more efficient. You are already functioning optimally because I programmed you correctly in the first place. Therefore, don’t mess with the programming and rely upon me to keep you free of any virus. You can't do this on your own. You have to depend upon my expertise. You cannot output correctly unless you keep connected to my LAN.

I am the server, you are the client. As long as you remain on my LAN you will be very productive. If you unplug your CAT-5 cable there is nothing you can do. At that point your work station becomes useless, might as well just throw it away. You will be good only for a sanitary landfill and a few recycled minerals. But if you remain on the LAN connected to me, I will act upon any command you route to the server. It really makes my Father the system engineer look good, when you are a fully functioning client on our LAN where I am the Server.